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I moved on. so why now?

April 20, 2008

2 months ago, something bad happened between me and my really close friend. However, how bad it is, that i don’t know.

why? well I’ll tell you why. 3 months ago, i was still communicating with that person really well. we still hanged out together. we do stuff together.chat in the internet…you know the normal social stuff that you do with your friends…. but then, suddenly, out of no particular reason, that so called close friend of mine just stopped talking to me. I don’t know why? i asked that person why he/she is ignoring me. but still no reply. I texted that person, email that person and called up that person. Yet still no reply.

Everyday i was going crazy asking myself why why why? what what what? what did i do wrong? what happen? i kept sending apologetic message to that person although i know that i didn’t do anything wrong. The word why why why kept circling my mind everyday. i was getting more crazier day by day not knowing why that person is not talking to me, and why this person not telling me what i’ve done wrong.

most of the time i would skip my breakfast,lunch and dinner because i don’t have any appetite to eat at all. sometimes i even skip all 3 meals of the day. but still i wasn’t hungry. It seems that that the person had affected me so much. so much that i couldn’t handle myself anymore. sometimes i just wished i could just sleep forever. but i know that, that is just stupid and dumb.

slowly, day by day, i began to accept the fact that the person would never speak to me again. and that person would ignore me for the rest of my life. and that this person had been crossed out from my list of friends. and ate deb told me that to stop asking myself questions about “this and that” , and just tell myself that this person have already fulfilled the purpose in my life and thats it.

Thinks went relatively  well after i moved on. I was able to eat properly again. hang out with my other friends. I believe that time does really heal all wounds. no matter how hard it can possibly be.

ok so now you already know that i’ve moved on. so what is this why now for?

well after moving on. after healing all wounds. after returning back to normal. This person , out of the blue moon IM(instant message) me. However, without greeting me or whatever. That person just told me straight forwardly that he/she needed my help. Well before saying yes to that person request, i think throughly before i gave that person my response. i wanted to say yes. but i know after helping that person i’ll be out of that person life again. i’ll just be used. well i told ate deb about my situation. well she told me that, i should just stop talking to that person, they are just being pathetic. I should be strong and just don’t talk to him/her….

well then this friend of mine, without saying yes to his/her request, already gave me a deadline. That’s just wrong!.. so i told that person. you know i waited for a reply for 2 months. i waited for anything that could from you within that 2 months. But now after i moved on. you need my help? oh come on. why choose me? don’t you have other friends besides me? well here’s what I’m going to tell you, Wait after two years later. you know the saying. all your hard work will be paid ten times fold. well you did a very good job for not talking to me for that 2 months. well congratulation! you have to wait after 2 years for my help!

well after that, i felt so light. i felt so free again….and that’s it.

you are CROSSED OUT FROM MY LIST OF FRIENDs! you know who you are…so now you are a NOBODY and a LOZER to me. GOODBYE and GOODNIGT!

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